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i was damn gek abt the dance concert thing la. couldnt settle it. wanted to just forgo it but itz too irresponsible. )=
managed to kinda settle it in the end. was at suntec wif zhixiong. had crystal jade! yay i miss the la mian n xiao long bao. ah then met a lot of hc ppl suddenly as i was going for the concert. o.O saw weixiang.. then jonathan.. n a whole bunch of them. itz my 2nd time bumping into weixiang at suntec.. both times wif zhixiong -.-
anw the concert thing was damn screwed up la. hafta apologise to zhixiong, yawen n ms loon. haii.
my phone batt went flat too at the crucial moment la wth.
even though the concert was short, it was realli good. latin n ballroom. ah, the beauty of ballroom dances plus their music just make ur heart melt. all the dancers r realli hot.
but i din enjoy the concert. super long story la. but i managed to find yiyan n puiyeng in the end.. then we were walking thru citylink back to city hall mrt.. n i just broke down la. a thousand eyes were fixed on me but i couldnt stop crying. went to the toilet.. then aft a while i realised miaoqin was standing beside me o.O yah. their claz s60 a lot of ppl went i think. so i called her.. said hi n walked out. she was like stunned. cos as exclazmates we hafnt seen each other for damn long. n there i was crying like an emofreak wif my face totalli red.
im tired. realli tired. sometimes i realli wonder y im trying so hard, n then stuff get screwed up like it did today.
i dun wanna elaborate any further. cant say tt im feeling any better either. so yeah im off to sleep.
time;5:55 PM
ah today my back starting hurting again. during pe. now i finalli noe wads the cause. itz cos sit on the ground.. den do the groin-stretching exercise. stretch the kua4. almost couldnt get up aft tt. sudden sharp pain. haha. but aft still did the piggybacking n carrying one another for pe. fun fun. haha
chinese culture was slack. it was abt comics. haha. cool. n we haf tea app next next week!
oh ya finalli for the 1st time i went for yoga. it was soo funny la haha. just kept laughing thruout. the teacher is damn funny. when we were lying down n were told to get up.. we were like orh ok just sat up. n he said, "u all r like egyptian mummies waking up!!" hahaha. everyone forgot abt the proper way to sit up.. yah me too rarr even though i learnt for half a year b4 )= hahaha. so ya as my abs r hurting realli badly too, i think i realli sat up like a mummy.
anw it was just so useless la i think. like supp to focus n relax.. end up laughing n laughing. cos it was realli damn amusing la. the whole environment v not condusive oso. n the stuff we do oso like uhh. nothing much lor.
theres the 'burn the floor' dance concert! n im going tmr (=
hmm. itz so true la. everything dies down in sch aft 1st 3 months n orientation. seems kinda dead now. yeah hai. now at least got tournaments n matches to keep us going. heh at least we get to watch soccer in sch now. next 2 terms gonna be worse.
time;6:40 PM
today's civics was amusing. fun!! oh btw there's this pre-u debates.. haha organised by jj! preliminary round is this wed.. n our claz ic for all the student liasion n ava n timekeeping stuff. n im attached to the hci team!! wahahhaa. yay itz gonna be fun. den michelle's ezlink card was passed around.. haha n everyone had a v good laugh over it. then aft tt went on to sth else.. i forgot wad was the commotion.. but michelle was like "hmph!!! good things arent meant to be shared!" hahahha. then jeremy said sth realli funny. he said, "no wonder u shared ur ezlink card."
ah my back is acting weird again. it hurts every wed during pe -.- dunno y oso. so yah the 7 round run ytd almost killed my back. plus wushu. double killer. like ouch la. i dun wanna be kelvin toh no. 2.
chem test is totally a gonner )= pinning my hopes on math now. gp.. dun hafta say la haha. hai. next next week's bio test is siao la. cell organelles stuff, cell membrane, membrane transport, carbo, lipids, proteins. hai. dead.
time;8:03 PM
i think it's time i get my real priorities right n do the right thing! haha
i had dinner twice n i went to slp aft tt.
i miss the wall. haha. last wk we had to clear the low wall. jump n climb over la. hmm guess itz abt 1.5+m? not sure. quite easy la. n itz fun. once u get on the wall u just feel like lying there n not get off. haha. n ya itz true tt itz not abt height. itz the technique. hehh.
i feel like i haf super lots of stuff to do, like portfolio n pi.. but im just not doing it. like uhh. itz stressing me la. then again when i think abt it, i realise or rather i think i dun haf tt much stuff to do aft all. arghhh
this week is busy i think. mm yeah. but anw the scholars' stuff coming up r fun haha. yay
i fell aslp super obviously during econs lecture today according to puiyeng. my head was rotating or sth haha. i dunno lah i cant even feel it de. the tchr kept looking in my direction but i realli cldnt help it. haii.
i kinda dislike coming online now. other than to chat wif some ppl. like zhixiong. rarr he daos my smses n calls. forever 1 la tt pig. so we talk online. but he ends up daoing me too. so yeah.
n i feel like im the onli kid la. i dun even see my sis around. like she works 3 to 11. n ive been slping quite early recently. i onli see her slping on her bed in the morning -.- n she onli sees me slping on my bed at nite i guess. haha. haiya sad lah. die. ive been wanting to ask her abt some sch stuff. rarr.
oh yah i hafnt said this. congrats to kaiming!!! hahaha he has done me proud again xP cross country nats champ again for 3 consecutive yrs! like o.O improved by so much la. 4.5km.. 2 yrs ago 15.44. last yr 15.41.. this yr 15.14. a new personal best! yayy. dun be too sad yah. haha continue to work hard for team championship!
haii. ok. im going off. im grumpy. hi! n u r?
time;10:32 PM
arghh i realli hate this. i know u care. but nothing's working out now. in fact everything in our friendship has gone bad. i cant reciprocate in any way at all. itz just not possible. puiyeng thinks im mean. she cant believe im doing this. ah i hafta agree wif her. im starting to dread any slight form of communication. if itz considered communication tt is. in case u din know, ure pressuring me a lot too. stop where u r. i cant take it. i wish i hadnt gone near u at all.
im so tired of all the stuff tts going on. itz this big whole complication. i created it all. n i cant resolve it. im just caught in the middle of all the crap. itz such a pain just thinking back abt it. realli painful. abt the wrong choices i had made.. tt realli make me regret.. even till now. the whole thing is a big irony la. laugh n cry. this is the only thing tt makes me hope for time to turn back.
the upcoming week is gonna b the busiest n worst so far. big deadlines to meet.. test to take.. and kelvin. why kelvin still? this is the only issue tt matters to me now seriously. theres still a lot to resolve and settle on my part. some form of proper conclusion has to take place before anything else. i dont know wads wif me.. the whole world may be against him.. he may be against me.. but anyhow, he would still matter to me. so yeah i hafta take this seriously i guess. hafnt been doing anything much abt it so far.
im left wif last 3 eps of da chang jin. mm gonna b so bored aft tt.
im falling ill. realli bad. haiya i need to recharge or sth la. hafta stop falling aslp during lectures. i guess itz cos sometimes i just dun feel like listening la. i wld just shut off right at the start.. or aft 15 min or so. so yeah hafta make it a point to realli listen.
today was bad too. my left eye there was like twitching like crazy. it has been twitching for like 8 days.. but today was really twitching so much la i dunno y oso. cldnt do my work properly at the lib.
ok im off for now! n im fine. realli. i dont know la. maybe im living in denial or sth. but i wld usualli think tt im alright. mayb cos i dun think too much abt stuff or sth. i dun end up feeling sorry for myself or anything like tt. i feel tt itz realli sad to sink into depression urself la. hmm complex n oversensitive ppl.. like y dig so much into some stuff? confuse urself.. not knowing wad u want.. mope n feel sorry for urself.. getting nothing out of everything.. n go crazy. itz tiring. n u can never get out of it. fortunately, im sane most of the time (=
time;1:47 AM